Aegrescit Medendo

(Chris wearing a bowtie and pondering
one of life's more difficult questions
during his obligatory post-arrest late
night interview)
As if his complete lack of talent and undeserved fame weren't enough. For those of you who don't know, Chris Brown is a pop-star, most recently popular for being arrested after beating up his equally-famous girlfriend.

I learned yesterday that Chris Brown has an unusually high number of extremely overweight fans. How do I know this? Because I got trampled by about 30 of them earlier yesterday. All I wanted to do was ride the stupid rides@ stupid King's Dominion, but no- Chris Brown decides to show up with his whole entourage including police, which I found funny-- the big, bad wife beater needs an army of security to go out in the real world. Anyway, his presence caused me to be trampled by a mob of huge (in the literal sense) fans. I wanted to tell these idiot girls to run away from domestic violence, not towards it, but I decided I'd rather take advantage of the fact that the lines were nonexistent because 90% of the people in the park were running after Chris Brown with their camera phones.

The ironic thing is, I probably got closer to Chris Brown than any of his fans because unlike them, I continued to carry on my day like nothing was going on. As I was getting off a roller coaster and going down the exit ramp, Chris Brown & crew passed me going the other way, and for those of you who are curious yes, he looks even more like a waste of space in person than he does on tv.

Also, Chris Brown's even bigger, fatter friend decided to yell at me "Hey girl, c'mere!" and when I continued to walk without acknowledging him he says "with that scarecrow hair!" Maybe he was referencing the fact that my hair is blonde, or maybe be was referencing the fact that it was disheveled after just getting off a ROLLER COASTER. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn't know what happens when you ride roller coasters because I'm pretty sure a man of his girth is unable to fit into any roller coaster. Or maybe, he was just upset that I didn't acknowledge his first yell. If I didn't even pay attention to the celebrity, WHY would I pay attention to you?